My dad accidentally told my sister she was an accident and she was like “ok but next time you’re angry at me just remember it’s your own fault because you didn’t wear a condom”
hey sheldon, what’s up?
the ceiling, of course
[extensively long laugh track, continuing on for minutes, breaking on hours. audience members are slowly dying of laughter, unable to stop. the actors want to cry out in grief for them to stop, but they are on set. it is a massive tragedy]
#mra #brony #allyphobia
Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?
No it’s red because of his shirt
No, it’s yellow because he loves honey
You have no idea what you’re talking about
DID I FUCKING STUTTER?
Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STEVEN UNIVERSE IS SO ADORABLE
THIS FUCKING SHOW WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME
- me most of the time: people are okay, I guess. like no one is 100% bad.
- me after reading the comments section in any article, ever: this world can only be cleansed with fire.
wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple
because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.
It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”
( ´ ▽ ` ) Good morning, everyone! ( ´ ▽ ` )
The date is December 7, 2013 on a Saturday
Make sure to spend time with all of your friends now and then! It can be hard if you have a lot, but make sure to dedicate even just a little bit of time to everyone so they know you still care about them. Everyone needs a reminder that they are cared about now and then!
( ´ ▽ ` ) Have a wonderful morning! ( ´ ▽ ` )